12 Online Dating Types You’ll Eventually Meet
What I mean is there are no two people really alike as human beings – our experience, background, character traits, beliefs, thoughts, education – all define us.
It’s a complex web of data that makes us – well, us.
Yet at the same time, get a number of people together in a huge bunch and you can identify certain clusters or groups.
The same goes for online dating. I’m sure if you’ve tried it you know what I mean – there are certain types of people you just keep bumping into.
The longer you use a dating site, the better you get at recognising and identifying them.
In case you’re not that savvy yet or just want to see if your list matches with ours, here are 12 types of online daters you’re bound to run into.
1. The Pinocchio Type
Yes, it’s unfortunate, yes, it’s sad, yes, the world is an unfair place but that’s what a lot of people do on dating sites: they lie.
They tell you they were once Miss Wales when in fact they’ve never even been to Wales, not to speak of a beauty contest. Or they tell you they’re 6 feet 2 inches tall, muscular and tame lions for a living and are in fact skinny, short and still living with their mum.
That’s just how it is with most things online: the internet gives certain types of people enough anonymity to fantasise about being someone they clearly aren’t.
A lot of people lie about their height. Some lie about their education or profession. Some lie about their personality. Some surely lie about their relationship status. And a lot of people lie with their photos – in extreme cases it’s not their photo at all but usually it’s what they looked like an eon ago.
What to do: There’s no sure-fire way to know whether someone is telling the truth. Especially not from a dating profile alone. But generally I’d watch out for unusually great photos. I’m not trying to say there are never anyone super-hot on an online dating site but fake photos tend to have a certain too good to be true quality about them.
There’s also nothing wrong in asking for some extra photos as further proof. Also, liars aren’t always consistent with their lies. If you start asking them questions and talking to them you might pick up some inconsistencies in their answers. If they become defensive, contradictory or overly vague then take the safe option and move on.
2. The witty writer
There are always dating site members whose profiles sound like short stories from McSweeney’s.
They’re just so incredibly well-written, full of funny comments, witty metaphors, anecdotes, deep and meaningful remarks and generally brilliant.
Plus quite often they also have the most amazing stories to tell! They’ve either rescued pandas in China or plan to take the next Virgin Galactic flight to outer space…
They just sound so fantastically perfect you kind of wonder if somebody made them up and if they really do exist. Or how on earth they can live up to their profiles in real life.
What to do: The witty ones have gotten one thing right: they’ve figured out how to make their profile stand out. They’ve invested a lot of time and energy into their profile to make it so spectacular. They probably get a lot of attention. So if you want to get into their good books, you have to make the same kind of effort.
You have to spice up your profile so that it makes you sound as cool, funny and interesting as you are (on your best days anyway!).
You’ve got to send them a well thought out messages with just the right amount of wit, good humour, interest and mystery to make you stand out.
And even that might not be enough. But be warned – once you get them interested in you, it might be quite hard to keep up with the constant bombarding of outwitting each other.
At the end of the day, wouldn’t you rather date someone who was easy to talk to and make you feel comfortable?
3. But it’s all about ME!
As sorry as I am to say it, a whole lot of online dating site users aren’t really there to meet someone else at all.
A lot of them are there to talk endlessly about themselves, about their needs, about who they are, what they are like, what their cat is called and what they had for dinner.
They also need constant reassuring and reciprocation.
They bombard you with messages but don’t really ask you any questions or in fact don’t even want to know about you.
If you tell them stuff about yourself it’s plain to see that they don’t really care. Their whole world revolves around them and if you give them an ounce of your interest, they’re constantly hungry for more.
What to do: To be brutally honest there really is only one course of action – drop them like a hot potato.
They will never make a good match as their appetite for attention will never be satisfied. And you can’t be around forever to ask endless questions, listen to their raves and rants, comfort, reassure, and offer help and advice.
You didn’t sign up to a dating site be matched with a narcissist so jump ship if you see the signs!
4. The Copy and Paster
Some people just sign up on a dating site, never bother to fill out their profile, and start sending out generic messages to every single person in their search.
It’s usually something along the lines of: “Hi honey, you look really hot/sound really interesting. If you want to get to know me, drop me a line.”
I assume they think that they can get a maximum amount of results with a minimum amount of effort.
However – it just doesn’t happen this way. In order to spark someone’s interest, you’ve got to do just that: get them hooked.
A standard copy-paste message just won’t do the trick.
What to do: It all depends whether you see any kind of potential in them or not.
Perhaps they’re not actually boring and/or lazy – maybe they are just new to online dating. Or maybe their confidence is low. Or maybe they don’t know how to put their best foot forward.
If you think there’s something in their profile worth getting to know to, then you could send them back a short reply with a few questions.
If their reply shows promise then you might still both be able to make it work. But if they get back to you with really uninspiring nondescript answers it’s time to call it quits.
5. Going Nowhere Man
This is someone who actually sounds pretty good – you’ve exchanged a few emails, made a few jokes, told each other about your jobs and backgrounds and so far it’s all been going swimmingly.
Yeah, you’re not exactly jumping out of your skin to meet in person yet but they hold some promise. Except that it never seems to go anywhere.
The conversation you started two weeks ago still revolves around the same subjects: what did you think about the Oscars? Do you like hiking? Have you been to Thailand? And that’s just it.
Your heartbeat doesn’t quicken when you see a message from them in your inbox. It’s starting to look like an online friendship and that would be nice… except you didn’t really join up to find another friend.
What to do: If someone doesn’t take further interest in you it’s usually because… well, because they’re not really interested.
You could try and take the initiative yourself and see whether it leads anywhere but more often than not you’re just talking to someone who is just too polite to cut contact with you because they don’t want to hurt your feelings or make you feel bad. It’s either that or they’re indeed incredibly short of confidence to take it further themselves.
Either way, you’re better off knowing whether it’s likely to lead anywhere or not as there’s no point to keep on wasting your time as well as someone else’s.
6. Children on Board
There’s a lot of single parents on online dating sites.
Most of them don’t make a big deal out of the fact – and some make it the centre of their profile.
Either way it’s essential that you realise: if you get more serious with them, there’s a good chance you’ll also be entering the lives of their children.
So think hard whether you’re ready for it. And be prepared that your new love-interest might not always be there for you if you feel like heading out for a spontaneous date.
That said there’s also no need to over-complicate things for yourself. It is OK just to take interest in them and go out on a few dates without having to commit to anything just yet.
Not every single date with someone who’s a parent has to lead to happily ever after!
What to do: The best thing to do would be to let them take the lead and show you the way. That is, you can surely initiate contact and ask them out but leave everything that has to do with meeting their kids to them.
Every parent can decide for themselves when they think they are ready to introduce you to their children. You can show polite interest and ask about their kids but don’t go overboard. After all – at this phase you should really mostly be about the two of you, not the satellites attached.
7. Silence of the lambs
They’ve got a good profile – they seem intelligent and funny and you actually share a few interests with them.
However, for some reason or another all attempts to get in touch with them fail.
They never get back to your messages – on some pages you can see they’ve been checking out your profile, but you never hear back from them.
Maybe you try a few times – send a wink or an icebreaker, followed by a message but to no avail.
So what did you do wrong?
What to do: There are only two reasons why the silent ones remain silent.
One: they’re no longer active on the site. They have either found someone already and haven’t yet disabled their profile or they are too busy to check in or perhaps they just gave up the whole idea. In any case, they don’t see the messages you’ve left them. So there’s really nothing you can do about it.
Second reason: they just don’t fancy you. Again, nothing you can do about that.
Just dust yourself down and move on.
8. Fever Pitch
Sports fans can be found in over-abundance on online dating sites.
I don’t know what the reason for that is – are sports fans more into online dating or online dating fans more into sports – who knows?
What I do know though is that sports fans attract each other. If you’re outdoorsy and into jogging, running or hiking your chances are best with someone who digs similar kind of stuff.
Just like if you’re a smoker, your chances are much better with other smokers.
If you want a jogging buddy, or enjoy nothing more than mountain bike filled weekend then an online dating site is a great place to be.
What to do: Always respect their hobby.
Show interest in how their team is doing or what kind of yoga they practice.
This will help you to establish the initial contact with a sports fan.
Nothing ties people together like a mutual interest and of all the online dating types at least you can share a hobby that’s a guaranteed mood lifter!
9. What becomes of the broken-hearted?
Some people tend to think that the best way to get over their broken heart is to dive in head first to dating again.
However, it’s not usually the best medicine and it very rarely really works out. A broken heart can stick out like a sore thumb (sorry to mix body part metaphors!) and you can usually tell from someone’s profile they’re not over their last relationship yet.
Maybe they mention their ex or maybe they just seem unusually bitter or sarcastic towards “finding true love”.
Maybe they have this sort of needy and desperate urgency when messaging you, which can only translate to them not wanting to spend a minute of their time alone
In any case you might feel a little bit off kilter or sorry for them. But are these two emotions you really want to feel in the start of a relationship? Is that solid ground to build something lasting on?
What to do: If you really like their profiles and you feel like there’s a bit of a potential there, you could try and give them a chance for a fresh start with you.
Just remember, they are bound to be more vulnerable, might perhaps need more reassurance and attention.
Only you can tell whether it’s worth your while and whether you think they are indeed ready for this or not.
Otherwise let them down gently. No need to rip the wounds open again.
10. Bond. James Bond.
Let’s face it – some people are on a dating site just to score.
And it’s exciting, sexy and cool if you’re there for the same reason.
But just in case you’re looking for something serious and meaningful and possibly life-changing, stumbling upon another player might not be such a pleasant experience.
Players are usually absolutely charming. They know just the right things to say to make you feel on top of the world.
They’re so considerate and interested and pay you compliments on daily basis.
However, if you give them what they want – and sometimes if you don’t give them what they want quickly enough – they can’t disappear quickly enough.
What to do: First of all, establish what you want out of this relationship.
This is actually something that you should definitely do before hitting an online dating site. It will just make it easier to figure out what kind of matches you’re open to.
Player types are wonderful for some no-strings-attached flings. However, steer clear from them if you’re in fact after someone more reliable.
I know it’s not always as easy as that to establish how genuine and long-term someone’s attention is – if in doubt just make sure you’re the one calling the shots.
11. The one who could be The One…
If you spend enough time on an online dating site you’re bound to meet this one sooner or later.
It’s someone truly great. He or she will make your heart jump. You’ll get an instant connection and after a few messages you already feel like you’ve known them for a while.
But then there’s always something that goes wrong… maybe the timing is off and she’s just booked his ticket to trip around the world. Or he lives a thousand miles away. Or he will be deployed to a foreign country next week. Whatever it is, for some reason or the other you two just never seem to hit it off.
What to do: Nothing. Unless you’re crazy enough to make life-changing decisions – like move somewhere far – in order to be with someone you don’t even know yet, there isn’t anything you can do to make this happen.
Just let it go. There will be that special someone yet.
12. The One
Just then when you’re wondering whether joining an online dating site was a good idea and if perhaps you should delete your profile, The One comes along.
You might not know it instantly that this person will be it – the Earth won’t stand still, the sun won’t shine brighter – but every day brings you closer to the realisation that something wonderful could spring from this relationship as it moves into the offline world.
You feel like you can really be yourself with him or her. You feel like you’ve known them forever even though you’ve only been in touch for the past two months. You feel like your search is done, you’ve reached your destination.
What to do: I know it sounds easier said than done but don’t rush it.
Give it time to blossom and really evolve into the relationship that you want it to be.
Ask questions. Listen. Share. Make an effort. Let it grow.
Just embrace it and give your best self to it.
There’s nothing as rewarding as that.
Online Dating Types: Conclusion
Now, if you’re ready to jump right in and meet some of those types yourself – and maybe even find The One for you if you’re lucky, read up on our dating site reviews and get dating!
About the Author
Aet Suvari has been reviewing and writing about the world of online dating since 2008 and the launch of Online Dating Help. A stickler for promoting ethical practices within the UK dating industry she champions the sites that get it right while highlighting those holding it back. You can follow her on Google+
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