Last updated on January 8, 2019 | by Aet Suvari0
5 first date questions we love
It’s not just the mere fact we have to meet up with a complete stranger while aiming to leave the best impression of ourselves. Will they show up? Will they look anything like their photos? Will they like me? But there’s also the other important question: what if we have nothing in common? What if we can’t find anything to talk and laugh about? In other words: what if the whole date is a complete and utter mess!
While there isn’t very much we can do about the other person showing up and looking like his or her photo, there is a lot that we can do about preparing ourselves as best we can for the date to make it truly work for us.
We recently read this article by our good friend Saskia Nelson. As an online dating professional, Saskia knows a lot about successful and unsuccessful dating – not to speak of her own experience. We found Saskia’s advice to be really useful, so perhaps you too can benefit from that.
The 5 First Date Questions
So, Saskia’s questions are: What’s inspiring you right now?; Who do you look up to and why?; What’s in your fridge right now?; What book would you recommend me to take on holiday?; What did you like about me that made you want to go on a date with me? You can read more about the reasoning behind these questions in Saskia’s article but for now let’s just think why and how can these questions help you.
Not every date works out – not every date should. Otherwise there would be no dating, you’d just live happily ever after with the first person you went out with. However, that’s not how things work in real life. But if you’re like us – and like Saskia – you don’t really want to waste anybody’s time. You’d much rather figure it out sooner rather than later whether there’s any possibility of a shared future together. Here’s where Saskia’s five essential first-date questions come in. They help you to establish whether you share a similar set of values, passions, sense of humour, ideas, plans and lifestyle. In a word: how compatible you are.
Compatibility is something that can’t be overrated. On a first date we can be so nervous that we don’t really think about it. Or maybe we’re desperate to find that ‘special someone’… or we’re eager and maybe a little smitten. Whatever the reasons, we might not think clearly and let the chemistry between us and the date decide whether to take things further. However, while chemistry is very important it’s not very useful when we start making long-term plans. That’s why it’s so important to establish very early on whether there will be anything to talk about after the romance wears off.
Romantic vs Pragmatic
Now, you could say this is a very pragmatic approach. Where’s the romance in that? Do you really want to start thinking about the long-term future on a first date? After all, you’re not going to walk down the aisle with him/her tomorrow, you’re merely deciding whether you would like to see each other again. But even on that occasion, these questions are still useful – you can use them as ice-breakers or conversation starters, and in the process you’d actually learn something new about your date, which would perhaps make it easier for you decide whether you’d like to take things further or run for the hills.
Perhaps you have your own set of questions that you use on a first date? If so, let us know in the comments – we’d love to hear how you make it work!