Seven types to avoid when online dating

There are certain types lurking around on online dating sites we would best avoid.

Sometimes I envy the 1950s. Things were so simple and obvious and clear-cut back then.

There were appropriate things to do when dating and there were things which were considered to be a big no-no. There were right things to say and there were completely wrong things to say. And so on.

But nowadays it’s not just about what someone does and says that defines him – of course, it wasn’t that way in the 50s either, but social norms were stricter and they helped to define relationships.

Social norms have become very muddled now. But there are still types that you should steer clear from if you want what’s best for you.

1. Me. Me! Me!!!

A type that’s easy to notice. Why? Because all they ever talk about on their profile is themselves.

Of course, the profiles should be about oneself and hey should depict someone’s hobbies and interests and convey their thoughts.

But the line between just talking about yourself and being completely over-the-top narcissistic is not so fine! This type only really ever cares about one person: his or her own sweet self.

2. Money makes the world go round

There’s no point in pretending that money doesn’t matter to us.

It matters to everyone. Especially at a certain age we don’t really want to get involved with someone who can’t support themselves.

It’s sad but it is true, no point pretending that the material world lies somewhere outside our romance bubble.

But there’s this specific type who just always has to flaunt their wealth. It’s just soooo in your face. His car. Her poodle. His Rolex watch. Her Fendi bag. Come on, this isn’t a contest!

3. Mirror mirror on the wall

Again, let’s not pretend looks don’t matter.

Unfortunately humankind is shallow and looks do matter. But only to an extent.

I say don’t trust anyone who has a gazillion photos of himself or herself on their dating profile.

Selfies from all angles, family album photos, best picks from pics with friends, professional studio snaps… you name it, they have it.

Just think about all the time they spend trying to look good. Where would you ever fit into the picture?

4. What you looking at??!

Every girl loves a bad boy. Even if they’re in denial. And boys too love girls who are naughty – and not just in a sexual sense.

But there’s a difference between being lovably grumpy and being just plain aggressive.

Some people just attack you verbally on a dating site. They think it attracts attention or makes them look cool or they just live out their insecurities through that.

Let them know it’s not OK. You don’t have to take it.

5. I’m so happy I can’t stop crying

It’s not that we’re being heartless but if all that someone is doing on a dating site is complain, moan and drag you down with depression, he or she is probably not ready to start dating.

We all need compassion and we all want to be appreciated, listened to and comforted but really, dating site is not the right place. There are internet forums for that, point them in a right direction.

6. Zap, clobber, scorch
Don’t let fellow daters criticise you. You’re probably not perfect but you don’t have to listen to someone telling you what you should think or wear or how you should look like.

Unfortunately there are enough people on dating site who think they’ve got a right to say just about anything that comes to their mind. The internet gives you anonymity and you feel braver to speak your mind but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to be respectful.

If someone treats you disrespectfully on a dating site, it’s time to wave goodbye.

7. What a waste!
Online dating sites are full of timewasters.

Some of them are scammers – and of course, it goes without saying that you should never give out your address or phone number to someone who you don’t really know, not to speak of sending them any money.

But there are also other types of timewasters. There are the married folk who don’t even have to be on an online dating site looking for an affair. They can be there just because they’re bored or they’re looking for a diversion – either way, they’re wasting your time.

There are those who don’t know what they want and those who know exactly what they want (and it’s not you).

If someone takes up too much of your time and energy online but never really delivers, you can be pretty sure it’s a timewaster. Drop them and move on.

About the Author

Aet Suvari has been reviewing and writing about the world of online dating since 2008 and the launch of Online Dating Help. A stickler for promoting ethical practices within the UK dating industry she champions the sites that get it right while highlighting those holding it back. You can follow her on Google+