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Last updated on February 14, 2014 | by Aet Suvari


All I need is…

A heartfelt personal ad from the London Review of Books…

All I need is the air that I breathe and to love you. And a five-door saloon (fully air-con). And minimum income of £55K per annum. And two holidays a year (Latin America plus one other of my choosing). If you can meet these requirements, apply to ‘Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men’s Constitutions’ (37), box no. 3685.

Although not technically an online dating ad, this is just one of the hilarious examples from classified ads that Guardian author David Rose has picked out while leafing through the prestigious magazine of the London Review of Books.

A lot of good ones there that might spark one’s mind to rewrite their own personal ‘ads’. As far as I am concerned a profile should be thorough, it should be honest and candid and witty, it should display your intelligence, your way with words and by all means your uniqueness. You’ll do well if you display a gorgeous photo or your salary numbers… but a truly good profile simply MUST be funny and intriguing. What you say doesn’t have to ring true, but if it draws a smile and/or makes someone’s fingers twitch with excitement to get in touch with you, then you’ve done well.

Rose points out some interesting examples, but there’s loads more and any experienced online dater can point out at least three or four of his/her personal favourites.

Keep your mind open while putting together your profile, you can’t do any better than that!

Link: Funny Personal Ads


About the Author

has been reviewing and writing about the world of online dating since 2008 and the launch of Online Dating Help. A stickler for promoting ethical practices within the UK dating industry she champions the sites that get it right while highlighting those holding it back. You can follow her on Google+

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